generation gaps
by Burt Prelutsky
Recently, I heard some author being interviewed on the radio. It was his contention that the generation of baby boomers was greater than the earlier one which had had to contend with the Great Depression and World War II. He based his belief on the fact that it was the boomers who had brought about civil rights for blacks and equal rights for women.
I, myself, find it difficult to compare the accomplishments and sacrifices of one group of Americans against another. But I suppose if you double-dared me to label any generation as the greatest, I would cast my vote for the one that not only waged war against the world’s greatest super power, but also found the time and inspiration to forge a new nation based on the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution.
My major problem with the boomers is that they were the most arrogant, self-congratulatory group in American history. And what’s more, they bred such selfish, self-centered offspring, you’d think they were all members of the English royal family.
Even though the nation had been around for 200 years, it took all that time before large numbers of American youngsters came to believe they were exceptional and deserved unbridled admiration for no other reason than that they existed.
It was only natural that coupled with that feeling of personal entitlement would be the belief that a level playing field was supposed to ensure equal results. The idea that some people are simply smarter, more disciplined and motivated, was dismissed as elitist thinking. If Bobby got better grades, then went to a better college, got a superior education and therefore wound up with a better job than Billy, it wasn’t because Bobby had studied harder and goofed off less, it could only be explained on the basis of racism.
In much the same way, the part of the Declaration of Independence that mentioned the pursuit of happiness was re-interpreted to mean that happiness was guaranteed to one and all, and that its pursuit was a catch-all that could be used to justify abortions on demand, gay marriages and even, according to NAMBLA, pedophilia.
We are also so spoiled that we believe we are entitled to pay half as much for gas as they pay in parts of Europe. Still, many of those complaining the loudest when the price goes up a dime-a-gallon are those who refuse to even consider drilling in Alaska. The way these yahoos carry on about destroying the God-forsaken environment in the frozen tundra, you’d think we were talking about erecting oil derricks on Park, Michigan or Pennsylvania Avenue.
It so happens, however, that I have two nifty plans for lowering the price of gas. My first notion is to invade Saudi Arabia and confiscate its oil fields. Then all those pinheads who said that Bush shouldn’t attack Iraq because, whereas Hussein had no connection to 9/11, most of the terrorists hailed from Saudi Arabia, would have to shut up.
Plan B is that we stop buying oil from other countries, and start using our gigantic reserves. The rest of the world is always complaining that America uses too much petroleum. Fine. So let Russia, Mexico, Venezuela, and the Arab countries, see how they like it when we actually stop buying just about the only thing they have to sell. It seems to me that the tail’s been wagging the dog for far too long. If the U.S. said that $30-a-barrel was as much as we were willing to pay, I suspect the oil producers would cut each other’s throat to meet our price and become our major supplier.
It figures that if you’re Wal-Mart, you get a better price and faster delivery from the factories than if you’re Charley’s Five-and Dime in Duluth. So why shouldn’t America decide what we’re willing to pay instead of leaving it up to a bunch of shmoes we wouldn’t even want to have lunch with?
The really nice thing about Plan B is that it doesn’t preclude our also going with Plan A.
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